Dear fatty

So I’m a bit of a fatty. It’s not a secret but it’s not something I’ll be writing much about. It’s pretty boring, really. I used to work with a bunch of women who talked about diets all day. SNORE. Nevertheless, being a feminist and being on the heftier side of life, I have a bit of a fatdar thing happening.

Here’s a couple of things that have set it off recently.

Reading Dawn French’s memoir ‘Dear Fatty’*, I enjoyed her assertions that she does in fact love her body very much, for what it can do, for what it is, for where it has taken her. Unlike the usual celebrity ‘oh I love how I am just the way I am’ statement, usually followed up by some kind of makeover/diet or promotion of such (Oprah I’m looking at you), I actually found French believable. Reading about the more awkward moments of her younger days, though, I wonder if being comfortable like this is more to do with the benefit of age and experience than anything. And besides; she’s funny. Everyone knows funny women are allowed to be fat.

Unfortunately though, even funny women see Jenny Craig as a meal-replacement ticket. And I don’t mean the unfunny Kirstie Alley. This time, it’s Magda Szubanski who’s signed up for a round of emotional ads to rival the schmaltzy Biggest Loser guff.

Now, if Magda really does feel the need to health-up then I wish her the best. It’s probably not an easy thing she’s chosen to do but I can understand it. I mean, if you’re going to be bitched about in the media you might as give them the fodder, on your terms. And I bet there’s nothing like knowing your fat arse is being talked about not only next door but all over the country to make you put that fifth Tim Tam back. So good on her.

There’s probably something wrong with the rest of us though, since we seem to lap up this ritual humiliation of the famously corpulent with such gusto. Methinks the Women’s Weekly special interview with the newly svelt Magda which is sure to appear in coming months will sell well. Not nearly as well as the issue with the pictures of her outside some burger chain scarfing down a thickshake when she alledgedly falls off the Jenny wagon. Would you like schadenfreude with that?

* incidentally, the ‘Fatty’ in Dawn French’s title isn’t her self, but Jennifer Saunders, to whom she addresses many chapters. Oh yes, it tricked me too. Shame on us.

No ifs, no buts

Want a surefire way to piss me off? Just start a sentence with ‘I’m not a feminist, but…’ It strikes me as odd and in poor taste to comment on how feminism makes our lives better whilst kicking feminism on its blue-stockinged arse.

Sure, sure, I know some people just don’t realise what feminism is all about and perhaps if they did realise that what they were espousing at the time was in fact feminism they might be less frightened of the label. And I also know my horse is pretty high at times.

Which brings me to my real subject. I think I’m a lactivist. Now I confess that I’ve only just cottoned on to this nifty noun lately, but it suits me. I love breastfeeding, I love breastfeeders, I love waxing lyrical about how great breastfeeding is for babies and mothers and fathers and the third world and the first world and the second world too (if anyone actually lives in that never-talked-of place.)

The thing is, I have friends who feed their babies formula. For a range of reasons. Reasons that are good for them. And I know for a fact that those friends love their babies wholeheartedly, without reservation, as I love my little boobie addict. And I also know that some of those friends tried desperately to breastfeed but weren’t able to. We all know it happens -  whether it was lack of support or information or sleep or a physical difficulty – it can be a painful decision to come to, for some, though certainly not all. I acknowledge and respect that. No doubt some are bound to find anyone blathering on about bountiful bosoms a bit hard to take.

I don’t want to offend.

And so it’s tempting to qualify. To say ‘I’m not a lactivist, but I support public breastfeeding. I’m not a lactivist but I think that breastfeeding support in hospitals should be improved. I’m not a lactivist but it drives me crazy when even doctors give out misinformation about the ‘benefits’ of formula. I’m not a lactivist but I am horrified that so many babies in developing countries still die from formula made with unsafe water each year. I’m not a lactivist but I think every baby has a right to breastmilk and every mother has a right to have her need to feed her baby honoured and accommodated, wherever she lives and works.’

I could say that, but then I’d have to kick my own arse, and that’s hard to do sitting up on this high horse.