Lactation: the new Atkins?

Naomi Watts has been stepping her skinny self out into the spotlight, about a month after the birth of her second son. And because it’s apparently in her job description to have a skinny self (and because ‘journalists’ like those at Contact Music can’t find any other recycled guff to print) she’s inevitably had to justify and explain and give ‘tips’ about losing her pregnancy weight.

NAOMI WATTS has regained her pre-pregnancy figure less than a month after giving birth – citing her incredible weight-loss to good old-fashioned breast feeding. The King Kong star gave birth to her second son, Samuel, just last month (13Dec08), and was pictured out in New York on Monday (12Jan09) looking her usual slim self. She tells People.com, “I’m breast feeding. And he’s sucking it all out of me, it seems. And when the baby comes out, it’s a lot of weight right there.”

So breastfeeding is old-fashioned now. Well, I guess that’s cool. Everybody’s into retro, right? And I’m all ‘Yay!’ and stuff about celebrities ‘admitting’ that they breastfeed. In a world where teenagers think being famous is the most important virtue of all, it doesn’t hurt to have some good role models. And sadly… the argument that breastfeeding aids weightloss works on some people. Nevermind that it doesn’t work for everyone. And nevermind that the lure of membership in the incredibly stupid cult of the yummy mummy is pretty much the worst reason of all to breastfeed. 

And it’s not a fun reason. It’s a reason based on negativity and pressure. But hey, at least she’s doing it. And as much as I hate the connotations of her vampire imagery, I do like her honesty. Motherhood is draining and she’s not wrong to say so.

It’s nothing new for the celebrity set to cite breastfeeding as the reason for looking emaciated just weeks after birth (although most fail to mention their personal trainers, macrobiotic vegan chefs and need to appear on some red carpet wearing white trousers in the near future as other contributing factors.)

So it’s quite refreshing when they do the opposite.

Over at Celebrity Baby Blog, Baby Spice is talkin’ babies.

While some celebrity moms — and even some of her own Spice Girl bandmates! — appear to effortlessly slide back into their pre-pregnancy jeans within a matter of weeks, Emma Bunton took a different path. In a new interview with the Daily Mail, the 32-year-old songstress and mom to 17-month-old Beau Lee says that despite gaining a “normal amount of weight” while pregnant it took one year to reclaim her pre-baby (UK) Size 10 form. Emma explains that she “did it very naturally and slowly,” adding,

“I went to the gym two or three times a week and ate healthily. I breastfed so you can’t go on stupid diets.”

So it sounds like she’s at least claiming that motherhood and breastfeeding are higher priorities than the size of her arse. Nice work. Of course, it’d be nicer if she said “I have a life/brain so I can’t go on stupid diets” or even “I went on a stupid diet once but stopped when I mistook Victoria Beckham for a celery stick and actually ate about half of her.”

I just find all this obsession with ‘pre-baby’ bodies beyond insulting: not only should all women, even famous women, be free to be women and not human diet books, but they should be free to be mothers too. I don’t know about you, but I’m not ‘pre-baby’ anything. I’m well and truly post-baby. Because, um durr, I had a baby.

And while I’m writing about famous breasts, I have an excuse to post a paparazzi photo that actually makes me happy: